In the murky light
your words drift like
litter inside me
And I dreamt of
duplicity, a scene
kinder than our reality
Your hands had the
blood on them-
though you protested
and I wagged my finger-
even as you defied-
I exiled you
and that chosen loss
forged in me
a restless fear
It’s a torturous survival
One must treat
others dismissively
and oneself, too.
Such thoughts,
such reckless thoughts
Bemoaning this
insatiability, I
clasp your forgotten palm
siphoning my
love with the
richest grief
It’s as if one could
exist only for
pleasure's sake
A stumbling
caller at a
dirty door
25 July 2010
Born to Roar
You shrank from me as
suddenly as you owned
my sallow love
Remember? I gave it
stingily, with angst
to be nurtured
I am not selfish
but petrified, an
infant orca under the ice
While we drink, we are
beautiful and kind, all
fresh lips and stale words
And you’d do anything, and I
could stand to cry, swimming
in the promise of it all
Perhaps we are a
pair of simple egos, born to
roar and not to care
In sleep, your weight died
composed and in heat and
I smiled at our regression
But then you barreled
though the streets and
the stained glass
Turned back, holding
hands and steeling your
teeth against the rain
You are vacant, an
abandoned maze and I have not
the wherewithal to walk you.
7 July 2010
suddenly as you owned
my sallow love
Remember? I gave it
stingily, with angst
to be nurtured
I am not selfish
but petrified, an
infant orca under the ice
While we drink, we are
beautiful and kind, all
fresh lips and stale words
And you’d do anything, and I
could stand to cry, swimming
in the promise of it all
Perhaps we are a
pair of simple egos, born to
roar and not to care
In sleep, your weight died
composed and in heat and
I smiled at our regression
But then you barreled
though the streets and
the stained glass
Turned back, holding
hands and steeling your
teeth against the rain
You are vacant, an
abandoned maze and I have not
the wherewithal to walk you.
7 July 2010
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